News Flash! UN: Sports Contests to Replace Wars!

This just in from the planet Peacenia, a parrallel universe/alternative reality to Earth: Koffee Annanda of the United Nations is proposing that from here on in, instead of physical wars with people getting killed, all international conflicts will be resolved by sports contests. Nations could select from a variety of options, but all would be strictly controlled games in which cheating would not be tolerated (no dismemberment or death allowed either). The actual leaders would be locked in the room to duke it out and no innocents would be needlessly injured. No "collateral damage".

One of the more popular options in the proposal is an Arena Football League game: High scoring, violent, definitley has the strategy factor and yes, people do get injured to appeal to the Amerikan Empire. Amerikan football is getting popular world-wide in Urope and Napan as well, so it is thought this may be the option generally selected.

Wisdomistan has suggested chess be the standard, however the Amerikan Emperor Shrub immediately objected and it was thought that he was concerned that his lack of intelligence would cost dearly if it was up to him to represent the Amerikan Empire.

Another popular suggestion has been paintball. Leaves a welt so it might deter imperialist types from getting too excited about land aquisition via paintball. More details to follow...